Missing Mystique

I miss mystique. As a kid I walked to Barney's drugstore to peruse magazines like Street and Smith's NFL Annual and Pro Wrestling Weekly. That's how you acquired information. People read People magazine. There was a layer of innocence that rested between us and our heroes. We didn't know the things we didn't want to know. We were sheltered and so were they.

Modern humans don't know this. Everything is immediate. We're wikied to death. I guess I like this a little. It has soothed a marital disagreement or two. I remember coming home and learning from a search engine that I was right about which song was played in the film the Big Chill in the funeral scene (it was the Stones' "You Can't Always get what you Want", not Procol Harum's "Whiter Shade of Pale"). But still.

My dad used to tell me that the wrestler known as Mr. Wrestling II was really a guy named Johnny "Rubber Man" Walker. He said, "All those wrestlers drink together at Snuffy's Tavern after the matches." It turns out he was right but I only found out a few years ago when I looked it up on Google. I could only speculate about it as a kid, and that was OK. No, it was good. I liked wondering who was behind the mask. I liked the existence of mystery in the universe. Of course, I also like Google Maps.

There are some good uses of technology. I like the joke that goes, "I have a device capable of accessing all the information from the dawn of man. I use it to post pictures of my cats and argue with complete strangers." Which is true. But it reminds me that one reason I miss mystique is because I didn't know what everyone I know thinks or believes. I might guess their political beliefs but I hadn't seen them condensed to a meme. I didn't know how many people didn't understand irony. I didn't know how many people hyperventilated while reading satire. I didn't know.

But now I know. Everything, all the time. So I guess I sound like an old guy, but I feel a little sorry for people who don't have to wait for anything. I know I sound like a fossil, but it grieves me that some people never experienced the world I knew. A world that was just disconnected enough.