1. Being in Christ
2. Being in Christian Community
I think it’s important to recognize that going to church and
being in community are NOT the same thing.
·
You can attend a church service and keep all
your relationships at a surface level.
·
You can achieve nearly perfect anonymity at
some church services.
·
Public worship services are not necessarily
intended to create interpersonal connection. In fact, in the West, it is often
the opposite of what a person may be seeking.
Going further, I would say that you can even be involved in
small group ministry and not be in community.
·
Depending on the small group dynamics, connection
may or may not occur.
·
Is there a means for real friendships to
blossom?
·
Is the class regimented so that it is one-sided
dispensing of information?
·
Do the connections transcend a set time and
place?
·
Do relationships have meaning that reach beyond
a set meeting time?
·
Is it clear that people care?
·
Can you reach people in your group away from a
set time?
·
Can an introvert disappear never to be heard
from again?
·
Is creating meaningful connection a deliberate
goal for the group?
Community is one of the most important needs in the lives of
people.
· It’s a valid way of addressing the need of connection.
· It’s a valid way of finding meaning and developing and authentic identity.
· It’s easy to screw up.
· It’s an important aspect of significance.
· It’s indispensable to alleviate loneliness.
Barriers to community:
· Trust issues – connection will never happen when protecting people’s openness isn’t a practiced value.
· Betrayal – people can experience a knife in the back anywhere, but when it happens among people who are supposed to be safe, there are terrible consequences. I promised an indigent person another pastor and I assisted recently that one of the things she could expect in our interaction was that she would be safe.
· Idealizing, unrealistic expectations – people are people, are people. There aren’t any perfect people, just people like the people you know. Those are the people among whom community is formed.
· Cliques – ugh. No mean girls, please. No cool kids tables. No popularity contests. No insider games. That’s just the worse.
· Gossip – few behaviors are as detrimental to the development of real connection in Christian community as gossip. Again, if people don’t know they are safe with us, they will never have the opportunity to experience what God intended in this aspect of cultivating a Christian identity. As Robbie Seay puts it, “No one should be left out.”
Necessities to
cultivating community
· The Gospel:
o Community – Rick Warren gets so much undeserved criticism. In his book The Purpose Driven Church, he wisely points out the transformational nature of the Gospel. It is intended to make outsiders insiders. People in our communities need hope and meaning and salvation.
o Crowd – a crowd is better. They’ve moved inward toward each other, but it’s not perfect. A crowd can be a mob or spectators or revelers and still lack the most important connection.
o Congregation – a congregation is better still. But see above. It doesn’t assure that friendship is occurring.
o Core – the Gospel has done its full work when it has woven people together into God-centered friendships and is multiplying the same.
· Willingness to pay the price – this is costly, of course.
· Showing up – it’s so easy for me to complain that I don’t really have this at the level I want, but I also have to be deliberate about it. I have to initiate and practice it.
· Time – time is what most people value now more than anything. The older you get, the more you appreciate how quickly it moves by. Who are we experiencing it with?
· Letting people be themselves warts and all (see above).
· Conversely, challenging people to be their best self. One reason we have to let people in close is because they are part of how God is going to develop the best you you can be.
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