Absalom was a leader.
His leadership journey is chronicled in 2 Samuel 13:1-18:18. He was an unhealthy leader, but people
followed him so that made him a leader.
Often people in the Bible are there to remind us what not to do. Absalom proves that leadership failure
follows predictable and avoidable patterns.
Here are some tips about how to fail royally as a leader.
Market your
Narcissism
Absalom was mostly style and little substance. He was not particularly spiritual, but he was
really, really good-looking (2 Samuel 14:25).
He lacked the fundamental character which Scripture puts forth as the
clearest basis for leadership. If we don’t
have character we can’t lead.
Narcissists lack a basic biblical necessity for leadership: they are not
teachable. No one can speak into a
narcissistic leader’s life. And that’s a
problem because everyone needs help. God
only grants help to the humble (James 4:6).
Therefore, egocentric leaders are on their own—a bad place to be. It is very difficult to acknowledge a very
important truth: there is a ton of stuff that I don’t know. Putting my ego to death on a daily basis is a
huge leadership challenge.
Nurse your
Grievances into a Consuming Passion
Guess what? Saying
yes to ministry opens you up to the possibility of being hurt. Every time.
It wasn’t that Absalom’s grievances weren’t real, but he pursued
vindication outside God’s will. He was
bitter and bitterness always negatively affects others (Hebrews 12:15). When we are in sin we can often justify and
rationalize damaging behavior, but being wronged never gives us a pass to
compromise Scripture and pursue vengeance or lead from anger.
Absalom came from a blended and very dysfunctional
family. He had 5 brothers from 5 other mothers
(2 Samuel 3:2-5). His oldest
half-brother Amnon raped his sister. His
father never held his brother Amnon accountable. Absalom became a vigilante. It didn’t end well for anybody. Sinful reactions to real injustices always
exacerbate and complicate the problem. Godly
leaders find the inner resources to resist striking back at offenders. They follow Christ’s example “who when He was
insulted did not retaliate. When he
suffered He did not threaten revenge. He
simply committed His cause to the One who judges fairly” (1 Peter 2:23
Phillips).
Lean into the Naivety
and Need of Followers
Unhealthy leaders take advantage of hurting people. Absalom positioned himself to steal away the
loyalty of the people from his father David.
He subtly suggested that David didn’t care (2 Samuel 5:4), and that he
failed to meet the people’s basic needs.
Rather than dialoging with his father and his cabinet, Absalom carved
out a following for himself and created a sub-group to fulfill his own
agenda. He subverted his father’s
leadership. It’s an old story and one
that gets retold in countless leadership contexts, particularly now in this atmosphere
of postmodern pragmatism and automatic institutional mistrust. Sometimes institutions need to be reformed
and reformation is always messy. It is
messier when reformers don’t mind blowing everything to smithereens to
accomplish their goals. Leaders serve
people; they don’t devour them or use them for fodder.
Conclusion – Nothing
in Absalom’s life really indicated that he wanted to be in front of people for
their good or God’s glory, and that is a real problem because the only reason
for leadership is the good of people and the glory of God. I have read and absolutely believe that
spiritual leadership has a particular attractiveness to people with deep
wounds. I don’t know why. But it ought to serve as a caution to leaders to
constantly be committed to our own personal healing and maturing journey.
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