Relationships are hard (but also worth it):
1. Because people are complicated - we just are. We come from so many different backgrounds, parts of the country, families of origins, good and bad experiences, and so many other personal variables. But is that a detriment or a strength? It depends on what we want out of life. If I only want to be told what I want to hear all the time, then yeah, not having people different than me to challenge my assumptions is what I will prefer.
2. Because you weren't meant to function in isolation - Rick Warren wrote, “Isolation breeds deceitfulness; it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are mature if there is no one to challenge us. Real maturity shows up in relationships." Isolation is not where truth telling happens. Isolation is not where connection is fostered. Isolation is where mildew grows on the heart, and over time the soul calcifies.
3. Because making ourselves vulnerable can go sideways - Yep. There's that risk. If we get involved with others and our relationships go beyond the surface to where our real stuff is happening, someone may turn that on us. But what if we don't? There are some things that are never going to be born in us without help from outside ourselves. It's why God created the gift of community. Sometimes we are the ones who need others to help "strengthen [our] feeble arms and weak knees" (Hebrews 12:12) on a healing path.
4. Because superficiality doesn't help with loneliness - Often people are funneled into addiction and destructive personal patterns of behavior out of loneliness. And yet the only way to be truly known is to push beyond superficiality with people. How do we do that? Ask people questions about themselves. Eat meals with people. Have people in your home. Accept invitations to their homes. Deliberately cultivate friendships with others. Not just for your sake, but for theirs.
5. Because you are going to have to make space in your crazy, busy life for this - Everybody is busy, but if we are too busy for meaningful connections, we are too busy. Life will always push out, and push against the time it takes to cultivate friendships. It's one reason churches should probably examine their schedules to see if they aren't too frenetic to allow life to happen for people.
6. Because relationships are the garden spot of empathy - The only way that you can develop empathy is face to face! Researcher Helen Reiss said, "Empathy is partly about shared feelings, and the root of that word was originally sympathy, which means 'same suffering.' It refers to the fact that when we are in the presence of someone who’s experiencing an emotion, we actually pick up on that because other people’s emotions and facial expressions and experiences of pain are actually mapped onto an observer’s brain, onto our own brains." God made us so that empathy is only cultivated in the garden of relationships!
I could go on, but hopefully you get the point. However difficult it may be to flourish in connection with other people, it's ultimately worth it. It's part of God's plan for an abundant life for you.
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